[dw1911]

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CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD (Maybe Fictitious) But I Like it!




To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown
Savannah night before last.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket
that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you
pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our
lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I
can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important
message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your
embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants
when
I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening
was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my
girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour
as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that
Kimber
Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we
had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.
Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when
pointed at your head ... isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to
wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure
it
was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave
your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you
from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us
again.


After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had
her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of
what
you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those
of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card.
The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely
grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie
Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That
made
his day!

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp ride" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke
the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's
side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone
calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
mentioning
President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a
nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not
killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution
is a far
more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you
well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate
pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity
to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path
you've
chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so
lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi,


Alex