[Riverpigusmc]

After tiring of trimming tree branches and vines along our long drive with a ratcheting type pruner, and not wanting to use my ippine machete, I ordered a Cold Steel cutlass handled machete. Unfortunatly, that woman was home when it arrived.
I figured it would be a short, handy machete suitable for swinging and cutting stuff me and Jake could enjoy. Ummmmm...no. This sonofab**ch is as LONG as Jake, and you could do battle with it. I knew I was in for white noise from the female unit when the postman delivered it in the bed of a pickup truck. I opened it, and Jake made "arrrggghhhh" pirate noises upon seeing it, stirring that woman from her cave to see what he was doing..
I was informed it must be locked away in my command post (my reloading shed/escape pod) and Jake is not to partake in the battle of the branches. I petulantly whacked a couple trees enroute to secure it. It seems suitable. Stay tuned.