Adopt or die?!?

sdmc530 · #1 01-14-2019, 06:07 PM

The US government is the biggest hurdle in the process because they let LSS and such places set all the rules in exchange for some "fees" paid to our IRS. Its a scam scam scam.

We did get close to adopting however:

On a very sad note, my step father in law had a coworker who had a 15 year old niece that got pregnant. So we did get hooked up with this family and were going to adopt this child as an open adoption. We were going to pay for all the doctor stuff, legal stuff and we committed to pay for some of the young girls college expenses if she choose to go to collage. We had it all in motion and really going to be a win for all but after 4 months in the young mother had a miscarriage. Very sad and traumatic, we were pretty down about it and the mother took is super hard. A short time later she tried to commit suicide over it. Fortunately she got the help she needed after that and were told she is doing ok now.

this was kind of the last straw for us on the adoption deal.

Sorry about the speech....we have strong opinions on this topic at our house.

FfNJGTFO · #2 01-14-2019, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdmc530

The US government is the biggest hurdle in the process because they let LSS and such places set all the rules in exchange for some "fees" paid to our IRS. Its a scam scam scam.

We did get close to adopting however:

On a very sad note, my step father in law had a coworker who had a 15 year old niece that got pregnant. So we did get hooked up with this family and were going to adopt this child as an open adoption. We were going to pay for all the doctor stuff, legal stuff and we committed to pay for some of the young girls college expenses if she choose to go to collage. We had it all in motion and really going to be a win for all but after 4 months in the young mother had a miscarriage. Very sad and traumatic, we were pretty down about it and the mother took is super hard. A short time later she tried to commit suicide over it. Fortunately she got the help she needed after that and were told she is doing ok now.

this was kind of the last straw for us on the adoption deal.

Sorry about the speech....we have strong opinions on this topic at our house.

Not at all... and the $$$$ thing is quite the reality check. I had forgotten about all the $$$$ paid as well as all the potential greed of the agencies, playing on the emotions of potential adoptive parents.

That isn't usually brought up in those YouTube adoption videos, and now I uderstand why. It should be a whole lot easier.

sdmc530 · #3 01-14-2019, 09:40 PM

The really sad part is all this bs and the poor kids are the ones who suffer. Breaks my heart

RKP · #4 01-14-2019, 10:54 PM

My BL/SL adopted 2 (brother/sister/USA) and boy, did they have to go through the hoops, and I mean "THE HOOPS" !! Have no idea what kind of $$$ was involved in the end, but, the main thing is everything is going very well and ALL are very happy.

RandallZ · #5 01-15-2019, 11:17 AM

If you are set on adoption, can't you be a Foster parent first, then adopt?

RKP · #6 01-15-2019, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandallZ

If you are set on adoption, can't you be a Foster parent first, then adopt?

^^ I do believe that's what my BL/SL did, I'm not sure if it was required? or it was by choice?

sdmc530 · #7 01-15-2019, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandallZ

If you are set on adoption, can't you be a Foster parent first, then adopt?

yes, you certainly can but there are so many other caveats with this process too. Here in SD foster kids are usually pretty messed up and dangerous. A friend road trooper is a foster parent and he has some really scary stories.

RandallZ · #8 01-17-2019, 12:16 PM

I ask because I really know next to nothing about either adoption or fostering. I have two adopted cousins, and my former son-in-law was a foster/adoptee from a family who supported themselves entirely on foster payments.

My wife and I were blessed with our own kids, so we never had reason to look into it.

Randall